Well-known comedian Sarah Silverman’s latest role in the film I Smile Back isn’t all that comic. She plays the character of a suburban housewife who suffers from depression, which made the actress speak out about her own struggle with the debilitating condition.

Writing For US Glamour Magazine

Silverman recently wrote an essay for the US Glamour magazine, mentioning her first bout of depression when she was just 13 years old, right after returning from a camping trip. She wrote that the trip has made her miserable – she was a bed-wetter, which was an extremely embarrassing aspect, and had pampers stuffed inside her camping back. On top of that, her mom picked her from the camping site and went on a paparazzi spree.

“Seeing her made the stress of the last couple of days hit home, and something inside me shifted. It happened as fast as the sun going behind a cloud”.

Silverman claims that this changed her entire perspective on things

Three Years Of Suffering

The bout of depression lasted for three years. Silverman stated that she missed school, experienced panic attacks, and even saw multiple therapists. She was prescribed a large dose of Xanax, the empty bottles of which she kept in a shoebox: “if I die and they find this, at least they’ll know what happened”.

Silverman wrote that she went from being the clown of the class to someone who didn’t see life the same anymore. She couldn’t deal with friends normally and wouldn’t go to school for months. She explained having a panic attack stating: “Every breath is laboured. You are dying. You are going to die. It’s terrifying”. Despite being home, Silverman said she felt extremely homesick.

Fighting The Battle

Eventually, the comedian started seeing a new therapist and stopped dosing on Xanax. Six years later, the depression returned while she was working as a writer for Saturday Night Live (SNL). She claims a friend helped her through that struggle.

Silverman’s been able to control her condition, but she says she always carries a bottle of pills in her backpack, just in case. I still have downward spirals, when I have to drag myself onstage to do stand-up. But there’s one thing I know now: It will pass. And it does”.

Staying Positive And Moving On

Silverman’s honesty about her condition has touched many people and fans. She has received a lot of admiration and support on social media.

She concluded with these words of encouragement:

“I wouldn’t wish depression on anyone. But if you ever experience it, or are presently experiencing it, rest assured that on the other side, the little joys of life will be that much sweeter. The tough times will pass – you’re playing the long game, and life is absolutely worth it”.