You have left no stone unturned in perfecting your parenting skills. Everything seems to be going good and you feel as if your efforts shall finally be rewarded.
But then one day, suddenly, something happens which makes you wonder, “Where did I go wrong? What did I do to deserve this?”
First things first. We should be aware that our children have to be compatible with the trends and contemporaries of the new generation, and after all! So were we and our parents before us and their parents before them. Children have the ability to adjust, fit and adapt into the social and economic changes of today’s world, so we should not worry about them being “different than us.”
Incognizant of what they are doing, either consciously or unconsciously, there are 9 ways in which parents are encouraging inappropriate behavior in their children.
Shouting And Yelling
Your voice booms and crosses the room as you yell whatnots to your child. Though it transcends the recently soundproofed walls of your neighbors, while they shake their heads in utter disgust, yet it fails to enter your child’s ears.
What you are teaching your children by shouting is that it’s ok to be aggressive. You are also showing that you have lost your cool, are no longer in control of the situation and in such cases it is fine to be disrespectful. Be wary of such situations.
Hitting And Beating
Research has shown that beating children leads to very undesirable outcomes, some which should not be exposed to the light of the day. Defiance is the main outcome here, which will make them do things that will eventually hurt them and ultimately they will do all the same to hurt you.
Studies have also shown that hitting and beating is also linked with antisocial behavior, a decrease in sympathy, empathy and remorse, and leads to increased aggression.
Threatening To Do Something Bad
You have threatened your child with the worst you could do. Now either there is something coming to eat them or nobody will come to eat them. It feels more like the latter will happen. And this somehow tells them that you are always lying. And every time you are not speaking the truth, you give them less of a reason to do what you say.
- Not Staying True To What You Say
Threating your children is one thing and warning them is another thing. They step out of line and you warn them or else they would be grounded. But in the end they are scot-free and okay with doing all they want because “you will be grounded the NEXT TIME.”
So ultimately they don’t listen because they know there will be no consequences.
- Giving In To The Whims And Weeps Of Your Children
You are always afraid to take your child to the supermarket. You know they will throw a tantrum sooner or later and start demanding things. It is this fear which your children prey on. They know the exact way and manner to impel you to buy some candy or a bag of chips.
It’s time to put a stop to it because they know that throwing a tantrum will get them anything. Not only will you be more at peace, your child will grow up knowing you can’t have everything in this world.
- Setting Wrong Examples
Your children look up to you for support and guidance. Therefore, setting the wrong examples in front of them is not helping them in any manner.
Parents are the beacons of light in a child’s life. They are going to copy your every move and your behavior, even smoking, drinking and cursing.
- Not Knowing What’s Wrong With Them
Perhaps, why they don’t ‘fit the bill’ is because they have some psychological problems. Perhaps, the reason they are hyperactive or think you are ‘destroying their life’ is that they are autistic or have ADHD and you are unaware of the symptoms. Or maybe they just have a hidden injury and that is their way of coping with it.
Whatever the reasons, know them and act accordingly. Visit a doctor or talk to them. Perhaps, they are being bullied in school and you never knew.
Unfiltered Television And Internet Surfing.
According to Forbes, a fair chuck of the internet is for porn. And the television is no alien to airing inappropriate content now and then, just because it is appropriate for adults. In a recent study, it was pointed out that TV ads, obviously aimed at adults, influence children to start drinking and smoking.
All in all, it’s better to know what your children is watching on the television or doing on the internet. In horrifying circumstances, your children may be talking to creepy strangers.
Buying Gifts In Exchange For Your Time
The best thing you can give your children is your time and company. Buying them things in exchange of some family time reflects poorly on them and they feel as if you are not wanted.