No matter what those condescending health experts say, for me, a balanced diet means having a bottle of Bud light in each hand. And if that doesn’t make a ‘strong’ case then listen to this “I owe my happiness to alcohol.”
Yeah! I get it. It’s a bad boy, all cool ones are, but you can domesticate it! Lions are harmful too but have you ever seen them hurt monks? No! Likewise, you can make alcohol and your body befriend each-other, so that the former doesn’t harm the latter.
How can you do that? By grabbing those pair of joggers you got on St. Peter’s Day and hitting the sports field.
According to a new study, playing sports might actually help your body in getting rid of alcohol quickly. Thank you Science, you are the real winner mate! Researchers found that physical activity may even prolong lifespan, reduce mortality and even cancer from alcoholism which happens to be the number 2 killer, behind heart attacks.
These researchers conducted a thorough study on 8 surveys gathered between 1994 and 2006 from the British population. Over 36,000 lads and lasses, thirty-six thousand, three hundred and seventy to be exact, aged 40 years and above were included in this study.
The team divided the patient on 6 different degrees of drunkenness, let’s see where I fall.
(1) never drunk (for legal purposes this would be me); (2) ex-drinkers; (3) occasional drinkers; (4) within guidelines; (5) hazardous and (6) harmful.
After categorizing the drinker they formulated a set of instructions for physical activity levels. The found a substantial correlation between increased mortality, cancer mortality and alcohol consumption, even when drinking in moderation, within the guidelines.
Careful analysis revealed that upon elimination of the underlined factors, the suspected link between alcohol consumption and rate of mortality failed to carry weight among individuals who met the weekly minimum physical activity of 150 minutes.
Study author Dr. Emmanuel Stamatakis said in a recent statement, “We also noticed a dose-response relationship between drinking alcohol and cancer deaths, that is the risk of cancer deaths increased as alcohol consumption increased. But this was not the case among physically active people.”
Hence, if you feel hammered from last night’s heavy drinking session, it’s time to put on your sports gears and excuse the spider-webs. Go outside, fly and do some damn exercise because hey! It might not just cure that annoying hangover; it might even save your damn life. Picture holding a tennis racket in one hand, a beer in the other and Maria Sharapova on the opposite side. Ahh.. What a perfect hallucination!